For whom the bells are rinning?

What can be more dangerous then insight fear...
When you know what and how but you afraid!!!
You afraid as you get used to the situation and you start to feel comfortable!

Do you feel ok about that? Does it ring any bells????

I guess it is...
I hear a strong noise! It's close! It's everywhere!!!

It's the time...

again in Kiev

2 days in a raw had meetings with my best friend coming back home for 2 weeks after a long time working in Kenya.
Feels so good :) I wish those meeting moments would last longer!

It's time....

For rather a long time there're different ideas & thoughts going on in my mind. Thinking I've to do something, I've to change something! What i'm doing now.. is like spending my time in blissful indolence! Doing Nothing!

I've to actually pluck up all my courage & change what I want to change!
If i was able to "Live my dream" then i can prolong it! I really want that!!!

Now i'm getting scared as before i was thinking that.... October is THE time! Is the right time for changes! ... Now I don't think so! Now i think that probably march 2007 is THE time. I'm getting scared as I don't want to think like this! I want to be free and "Continue Living my Dream!"

If it will go on like this.. then I'd never be able to change anything!
I feel like i become very pessimistic and passive...There are no more actions... Like something is dead inside...

I NEED TO CHANGE IT!!!!
If not ME then WHO? If not NOW then WHEN??????

I've to do that!!!! For OUR sake!

It's all over!

Finally!
Decided!!! No more ups and downs! No more random words!
I'm going for a long holiday!

Friday

Just right after 3 exhausting nights in different trains
finally me and some of my colleagues man

aged to get out of the office a bit earlier then usually and spend some time enjoying water sports.
We were on the picturesque island in Kiev.

Moscow

though i've got quite some friends there and it's huge and nice and all ... it's too aggressive to me...
never ending traffic jams..noise.. a number of people running from here to there...
Nobody cares there...
It's tough to be there...
But finally i'm back home to Kiev :) i'm totally in love with it!!

Mood reflection

Once, on a very sunny day when i again was at the sea side i was sitting and trying to get the mood of the sea...

I realised that i'm in love with the person whose mood is exactly like the sea... the ocean.. whatever you name it...

It's never calm! it never has the same color, It never has the same direction - It depends of the wind. It's always different.
With it's life inside, with its own secrets, miracles and stories & Gods and Goodness and emotions!

But i just adore it...
I'm totally in love with this Ocean... Sea... or whatever you name it...